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My gift to Mike for the secret Santa

lowercasecap:

A true gem of the internet, entitled “How Do You Wipe?”

Paul Blinov is a baby, eat your mashed peas, Paul Blinov

This one’s for you, world.

This one’s for you, Paul

Ah yes! 10 words into my 1000 word socratic dialogue. Ah yes! Good. Socrates.

What’s a Greek philosopher’s favourite sport? Soccertes. HA.

this paper is really writing itself, Tim

Tim Mikula starring in: Other Beefs I Have
HEY GUYS, HERE’S ANOTHER BEEF I HAVE. WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH HAVING BEEFS? I MEAN, MEN ARE ALL LIKE “WOAH NOW, BEEFS”, BUT LADIES AREN’T LIKE THAT, WITH BEEFS. AM I RIGHT LADIES? HEY WHAT’S IN THE NEWS TODAY?

What was the first thing the man about to be executed do in the morning?
He read the noose

There’s more where that came from, assholes. If this paper never gets written and instead I spend 8 hours tumbling, I’ll be okay with that.

What’s a circus performer’s favourite blog site?
tumbler

Why do the internet nerds love scotch?
because it comes in tumblrs

How do you make a horse moan?
ride it across the desert, HIDALGO

one more then I’m off to finish my homework

Hidalgo-go gadget horse race. In fact, that one is so funny I’m going to make it my facebook status. I have a bigger “audience” there.

Animated porn from the late 20’s. Everything from auto-fellatio to bestiality!

Harry Potter Epilogue Fanfic

And so, Harry Potter, having defined himself throughout his formative years as the antithetical perfect good to Voldemort’s perfect evil, found himself struggling to adjust to a post-he-who-must-not-be-named world.

Eventually, his atrophied body and soul fell away, at the hands of a .22 gauge on a gloomy Sunday.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBIqLqUenz0